In another nine years- In another life
by itaintpretty
Summary: 999 WEEK FIC! Snake/Santa, because I couldn't decide who I wanted to dedicate a fic to. Spoilers for 999, don't read if you haven't finished the game/aren't okay with spoilers! Angst, matching underwear and a sister complex. Rated T for the (hopeful) beginning and swearing.


**A/N: My contribution to 999 week, technically Light/Aoi rather than Snake/Santa but if you've come this far you're obviously okay with spoilers. If not, there's more ahead so don't read. **

**Set sometime after the first Nonary game. I've had something like this on my mind for a really long time now, it's not what I had planned it to be (even when a fic is not supposed to be about Akane I manage to make it about her) and was originally going to be PWP...yeah, you can tell I get on board the angst train and forget to get off. **

**Thanks for reading! x**

* * *

Light's lips were on his, hot and delicate and so overwhelming he kept forgetting to breathe; their hips were anchored together, closer than he ever remembered being to another person; a gentle hand on Aoi's back enough to soothe the ache of being thrust against the wall.

He knew he wasn't going to be able to do this properly. He couldn't be expected to last that long. No way- not with the other boy's cock pressing against his own through the fabric in their matching underwear.

Wait, _matching _underwear?

Aoi stole another glance down, while Light busied himself in marking his territory along the course of Aoi's neck. Sure enough, they were wearing the same blue and white checkered boxers that Aoi had bought in a four-pack two days ago.

"Why are you wearing my underwear?" Aoi's mind demanded, but all his throat seemed to be capable of managing was, "Agh um-uh."

If the way Light was working his sweet way down his body was any indication, Aoi doubted his sort-of-boyfriend had even _heard _his attempt at a coherent sentence.

Seconds later, Light had taken complete control of the situation and they were no longer wearing matching boxers. They were no longer wearing anything, really. Well, Light was still wearing his school tie, but that could well work to Aoi's advantage.

"Aoi," Light said matter-of-factly, one hand on Aoi's chest the other on the wall he was now pressed against, "you do realise how rude it is to invite a guest over and _not _direct them to the bed?"

Light chuckled at his own joke, but Aoi's brain was still trying to catch up. "The…b-bed?"

He sighed heavily, like Aoi was an incredibly hard hobby he did not subscribe to by choice.

Oh, _right_. The bed.

Swallowing against the lump in his throat that was anxiety and fear and hope all rolled into one, Aoi took Light's pale hand in his. With a deep and ominous breath, he led them to the single bed, thanking God Light couldn't see the childish baby blue of his bedroom walls, and then wanting to kick himself for thinking something so awful.

He was nowhere near as confident as Light was, especially not with anything sex-related. The most experience he'd had to date was with a girl called Chie who had dumped him a month after his parents had died- she wanted a boyfriend who could take her to dinner and then go home and fool around, she said- not one who had to cook a homemade dinner for his kid sister every night before spending hours agonising over her math homework.

Even then, he was fairly certain Chie would agree that they'd spend more time _talking _about doing things than actually putting those plans into action. In all truth, he'd been a little relieved when she'd broken it off with him. At least then he could stop pretending to be interested in a girl whose family name he struggled to remember most of the time.

He pushed Light back on the bed, watched as the boy got a feel for his surroundings.

"A single bed?" Was that...a _challenge _in his tone?

Aoi nodded and then barked out a nervous laugh, forgetting Light couldn't see him. "Well...yeah. I mean, my parents' room is um...I mean, I don't want to…"

The thought of doing..._it _with Light in his parents' bed...made Aoi shudder and besides, it was out of the question- his parents' old bedroom was right next to Akane's. He couldn't risk waking his sister up.

"It will do," Light murmured, determination obvious as he reached for Aoi and dug his fingers into his shoulder blades, his neatly trimmed nails leaving marks.

"Um, Light, listen, I-"

"_-Aoi_." Impatient, irritated, and Aoi should really just get on with it. But he couldn't. They had things to discuss.

"About earlier, I-"

"Please, Aoi, do not insult me with an apology we are both quite aware you don't mean," said with a hint of bitterness, and really that was to be expected, he supposed.

"But I _am _sorry," Aoi insisted, and it was true. He didn't apologise much, especially not to Light, with their friendship so intimate they understood each other in a deeper sense than he had been prepared to disclose with anybody in the past. But as much as he acted like it when he needed to, Aoi Kurashiki was not a jerk, and he knew when he'd screwed up.

"So you did not mean it when you said you would kill me yourself if it were the only way to protect your sister?" No judgment there, no disappointment, although he was sure he deserved it.

And that sentence was all it really took for Aoi to deflate, for the tension pumping through his veins to slow, for the lust in his body and his heart to disappear. He wasn't hard anymore, so he sat down on the end of his bed and crossed his legs beneath him.

"I shouldn't have said that," he admitted, suddenly feeling terribly exposed and acutely aware of just _how _naked he was. This was the exact conversation he had kissed Light to avoid having, yet here it had cropped up again, all because he was trying to postpone something which both terrified and thrilled him.

He had waited for months to come so close to Light, to have the other boy on his bed wanting him and needing him and the second his wish had been granted, Aoi had thrown it away because he had let his pathetic anxious mind get the better of him.

"Fuck it, Light, I was angry." He _had _been- furious, in fact. His boss at the restaurant where he worked had fired him with no intention of paying him off; Akane's principle was on his back because she'd been acting withdrawn in class; he was two months behind on rent payments. They were a stone throw away from losing their family home, which meant Aoi was a stone throw away from losing his sister.

Something he had already made quite clear he would never let happen, which was another reason Light had been the person who'd bore the brunt of his frustration.

It felt like everybody in this house was keeping secrets from one another. There were things he knew Akane was not telling him; there were things she _had _admitted that Aoi was purposely withholding from Light; there was an elephant in the corner of every room, large and powerful and a presence so strong they sometimes went days without properly _speaking, _unable to find each other around it.

What he had told Light was all the other boy needed to know, but that did not suppress the guilt that would strike Aoi at times when he realised how close they had become. For two weeks, Light had stayed with them while his mother and Clover went to visit his father- a waste of space Light refused to acknowledge, and with good reason if his story of what really happened the night of his accident was anything to go by.

Living with somebody his own age was an adjustment, but the fact it was Light made it easier. They didn't have much in common, really, but perhaps that was what made their dynamic so interesting. Aoi cooked; Light cleaned. Light helped Akane with her homework, made it much easier to grasp than Aoi ever had. At night, when they were alone, Aoi would switch on a movie of his choice while Light read a book with his quick fingers, tangled up together on the couch, two contrasting personalities and worlds intertwined.

Aoi had never had a best friend before, but he imagined it felt a little like this.

Still, what Light did know of the future they all had in store was enough to make him uncomfortable. He understood it, he would do the same for _his _sister, but he had made it quite clear to Aoi that none of the above, nor his feelings for him, would ever equal to his approval of their insane scheme.

"As was I," Light admitted, and it surprised Aoi. Light did not lose his cool; in an argument, no matter how heated, he was strong enough to walk away. Just another difference between them, Aoi supposed.

Just another reason this could never work.

"You don't want to help us anymore," Aoi said, and if his voice hitched slightly, well, it was a result of the shiver that ran down his spine, the draught from the open window entirely to blame.

Light sat up, the heated passion and intense desire of their earlier fumblings forgotten in a haze of resentment. It looked like neither boy was in the mood for what they had, moments ago, been sure they wanted so desperately. "I never said that."

_You didn't need to. _

"If you're done with this, then fine," Aoi blurted out, regretting each shitty little word as it tumbled out of his petulant mouth. He stood up, grabbing a pair of the identical underwear he wasn't sure he'd been wearing moments ago and began to hastily dress himself. "You don't have to. Whatever, it's cool. We don't fucking need you. I can sort this out all by myself."

"By investing your trust fund in the umbrageous and insignificant company of the monster of a man who kidnapped us?"

Shit. How had Light known about _that_? "What the _fuck_, have you been reading my mail-"

"-Your sister told me."

Akane? Why would she do that? How they would finance their later actions was simply one of their many secrets; a key to an intricate plot that belonged to them and nobody else. If _he _had told Light this, Akane surely would have been furious at him, so why would _she? _

"Yeah, _right_."

"I'm telling the truth," Light replied, although he sounded flippant, like he could care less if Aoi believed him or not. "She says you're getting carried away."

"She's thirteen," Aoi replied bluntly, folding his arms across his bare chest. "And I'm only doing what need to be done- she _knows _that."

_She was the one who freaking told me to do it_, Aoi wanted to say, but he didn't. There was enough tension between Light and Akane without him giving their turbulent relationship more merit.

It wasn't that the two didn't like each other- Light was a nice guy, when he wasn't being a pain in the ass. And he was especially good with kids, having a little sister of his own.

Unfortunately, somewhere in the last few months, Akane had stopped being a kid. Aoi couldn't quite place what had made her so fiercely protective of their tiny two-person family, but it had happened. He suspected she was a little jealous of his relationship with Light- she had never had to share her brother before, never had to compete for attention in her own home, never had her place as the other half of his heart questioned.

Light resented her for the bond they shared, as ridiculous as it was to Aoi. Light understood it, having such a close relationship with his own sister, but all the same, Aoi knew it was complicated for an outsider to comprehend why Akane, a teenager herself now, would sometimes climb into his bed at night when she had a nightmare; why he never raised his voice or implicated any kind of punishment toward her; why nobody was allowed over on Tuesday nights, because that was and would always be an exclusive family night in their house, even if all they did was hang out in the living room and watch some lame TV show, even if at times they no longer felt like a family; why the mere thought of a life that didn't revolve around Akane made Aoi crippled with fear and sick to his stomach all at once.

_It's not easy trying to fit us around her, _Light had even said once. And he was right- it _wasn't _easy having a boyfriend and having a sister who both wanted him on their side. It wasn't easy for Aoi to admit that there would never be need for competition- Akane would always win, hands down; to admit that in comparison to her, Light was dispensable. It certainly couldn't be easy for Light to live with that knowledge every day, to await the inevitable moment Aoi would decide their relationship was not worth the toll it was taking on his life with Akane.

"She is extremely worried about you," Light said, his voice much lower than Aoi's. He was so much more capable of keeping his composure. "She knows you haven't been sleeping."

"Don't fucking talk to me about how my sister feels!" Aoi hissed. He shouldn't be letting this conversation get the better of him again, but he couldn't help it. Akane was his button, and Light knew that.

"Keep your voice down," Light scolded, and Aoi couldn't help but blush- the other boy's stern voice had _that _much of an impact on his body. "If you wake her, she'll never get back to sleep."

"You think I don't know that?"

Light sighed, resigned and disappointed. "You know, I'm tired of travelling in circles with you. I think it's time I removed myself from this situation."

Aoi felt himself pout. "Whatever. If that's what you want."

"What _I_ want?" Even now, his voice was barely above a whisper, even and calm. He let out a small chuckle, sarcastic and maybe even a little hurt. "No, Aoi. This is certainly _not _how I envisioned this evening would go."

Without another word- because really, what was left to say?- Light pushed himself off of Aoi's bed and began to feel around for his clothes on the floor. Aoi would once have helped, but now he knew the other boy well enough to know just how proud he was, how little aid he required to live his sightless life.

He watched Light fumble with the buttons on his school shirt, Aoi still too angry to admit he wished the night had gone differently. Then, he waited until Light had made his own way out of the room before sitting back down on his bed and pulling on the jeans he'd worn earlier.

It took him moments to realise he'd made a mistake, but of course he had pride of his own that suppressed his desire to run out and call Light back. His eye caught a Birthday Card tacked to the wall, the last card he'd gotten from his parents before they died, and that was when Aoi remembered.

Today was Light's seventeenth birthday.

Cursing himself, Aoi finally stepped out of his bedroom. The house was silent.

He made his way down the hall to the guest room, where Light had been sleeping while he stayed with them. He would be lying in bed, right now. On his side, facing the wall, waiting for Aoi to slip in beside him and whisper an apology in his ear, waiting for Aoi to make it up to him.

He pushed the door open, but Light was not where he had convinced himself he would be. The guest bedroom was exactly as it had been two weeks ago, when the last person who had slept there was a great aunt Aoi barely knew, five years previously. The bed was made, the curtains were drawn. Light's blue suitcase was nowhere to be found; his backpack, his school work, his books-all gone.

Like they'd had never even been there.

Aoi's heart began pounding in his chest. How long had he been sulking in his bedroom? Where had Light gone? He raced down the hall, scanned the kitchen, hurried into the dining room, spun around in circles in the living room, desperate to find a single trace that Light had ever lived with them at all.

_Nothing_.

Except a piece of notebook paper anchored to the refrigerator, found upon second inspection of the kitchen, pinned there with those rainbow letters Akane had once used to spell out their names. Aoi took the page with a shaking hand, reading and re-reading it and blinking furiously as the perfect handwriting began to blur together.

_I'm sorry, but I believe in this case, leaving truly is the best course of action. You must do what you have to and I will never blame you for that, but it has become impossible to pretend this will not be what ultimately destroys us._

_Perhaps in 9 years, you can call me. _

Aoi didn't know where Light had went- well, he assumed he'd gone home, but _how _was a different question entirely: had he called a cab? Started walking, alone and along unfamiliar streets?

Nine years was much too long to go without talking, but Aoi knew it was more than a time limit on their freedom their separate lives. Was this Light's agreement to partake in he and his sister's plan, an acceptance that Aoi was certain he would never receive, a promise to wait and to forgive?

"Aoi?"

He turned on his heel, wiping his eyes, wishing he'd thought to throw on a jacket with a sleeve he could use instead. "Akane!" he said, sounding much too-cheery to be himself.

She blinked at him, looking around the kitchen nervously, eyes falling on the somewhat-letter in his hand. "Where's Light?"

Something inside of Aoi clicked- or fell apart, he wasn't quite sure. His relationship with Light hadn't been fair on either of them; this was for the best, even if he hated himself for having to admit it. Right now, his sister needed him much more than Light ever would.

Maybe in nine years; maybe in another life. Regardless of what uncertainty his future with Light held, his future with his sister was certain- he would never lose her.

Crumpling up the last shred of his innocence in his hand, Aoi Kurashiki made the decision to forget about Light Field.

After tossing the ball of goodbye into the trash can, Aoi walked over to where his sister stood and pulled her into his arms, taking comfort in the fact that this latest sacrifice he'd made would bring them closer together- now he would finally understand her loss, how it felt to feel somebody you love slip away from you.

He only hoped Light's next birthday would prove to be more satisfying than this one had.

An afterthought, as Aoi lead Akane back to her bedroom, was that Light still owed him a pair of underwear.

Perhaps nine years really wasn't all that long after all.


End file.
